3 Secrets to Dating Your Spouse

Marriage

3 Secrets To Dating Your Spouse

You think that when the kids move out of the house, you and your spouse will have all this time together. Then when your kids move back home after college, like me, you wish you spent more time together when the kids were gone. Yet, the timing was never right because of this or that, and if we took a deep breath and inhaled just long enough, our surroundings changed because someone was moving out while someone was moving in.

Some days I feel like an empty nester that lost her ID card or got it taken away from her because she is no longer allowed to identify as one because her kids came back home.

Every woman in midlife is juggling life differently when it comes to her kids and marriage. You might be raising school-aged children or working outside the home. Sure, finding time to invest in your marriage is tough when both of you are busy and have a to-do list a mile long. Yet, it's important to remember that your relationship with your spouse is the first example your kids will see of how to have one.

I want to give you 3 ways to date your spouse. My hope is that they will not just be words but inspiration to start something new or renew what was.

1. Make the first Friday night of the month your night together. Make those dinner reservations early, look at your city's calendar and see what is going on that day, or plan a day trip. The point is if you know it's coming every month and you covet that day as nothing or no one can interrupt that blocked-off day {within reason – emergencies, dinner parties, etc.}, you and your marriage will love you for it.

2. Make the most of your time alone. I remember when the kids were little, just sitting at the coffee table before our kids got up, sipping a cup of coffee and talking about the things going on in our lives. I can honestly say, I think, this was a huge part of our success after 25 years of marriage.

3. Get involved in something greater than yourselves. What does that mean? Find a younger couple to mentor, volunteer at a food bank, or go to church together. Jose and I every Christmas season volunteer at our church with an event called Barbie Dolls and Basketballs. We went to the low-income house areas on the north side of Nashville, knocked on doors, and handed the girls a Barbie and the boys a basketball. We also give the parent(s)/home a Bible. It is such a great time together, and we get to see how much God has blessed our ministry of marriage along the way.

I hope this helps and encourages you. But, even if you choose only one, here is the key – BE PRESENT.